Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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