i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
