His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
