DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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