Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
