I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
