I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
