Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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