Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
