somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
