I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
