I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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