Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
