Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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