My pussy is not your playground.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize