didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
