Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
