Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
