So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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