I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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