yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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