Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
