I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
