I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Randomize