He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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