ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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