Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
