Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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