I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
