you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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