AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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