it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
