You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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