shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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