So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
