K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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