i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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