I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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