i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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