party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
