I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
