Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
