is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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