I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
