What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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