Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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