I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
