thus making me awesome and them whores
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
