if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
