Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The best revenge is premature balding
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
