Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
