So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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