Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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