Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Randomize