O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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