I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
