I need to stop coming to work sober
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
