White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
