hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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