I'm eating all of the evidence.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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