I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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