Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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